Sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind. I get that you love her, but her actions should not define you, zapp the life out of you, make you feel like you’re treading on egg shells etc etc.
Hand the responsibility over to her family and let them deal with it. You need to take control back, its lucky you don’t have kids.
Believe in yourself, and have some self worth. You are better and deserve better than this chaotic life, none of which is down to you. 🙂