…ooops … sausage fingers!!! Was saying it all starts with a choice and they have to work damned hard to get to the point where they have given their choices away.
The truth is that once they’ve gone down this road there’s not much turning back, even for those who want to stay clean. It’s a chronic and relapsing disease.
Now, almost six months since my husband got caught and joined CA im still stuck wondering if today will be the day, what if i say the wrong thing, etc etc.
My mental health is in tatters. I’m severely depressed and anxious, plus i have developed severe complex ptsd.
I’m sorry for the dismal reply but the reality is that us partners have been put in the most horrific position and i don’t believe there are many fairytale endings. If it wasn’t for our kids I’d be long gone. I don’t want a life with this awful stuff hanging over me every second.
My husband concealed what he was doing for 2.5 years. I thought he was an alcoholic. He has used all around me and our kids. He terrorised me for 18 months as the problem spiralled.
Don’t get me wrong…im proud of what he’s doing etc etc… but he shouldn’t need a pat on the back for not being a totally vile person. He could have sought help long before he got caught and expected me to help him dig himself out of this hole he put himself in.
So… the dreary takeaway from this is… we the sane ones need to look after ourselves very deeply and carefully. There is a long and difficult road ahead of us and frankly, if there is any possible alternative to this painful road then we should never feel guilty for putting ourselves and our children first.
Sorry for the miserable tone here.