You are not crazy. And he is playing mind games as he’s on that horrible powder.
They do this and I can assure you he’s been on the gear a lot longer then April. They are habitual liars. They don’t tell the truth. They just want drugs and will do anything to finance it. Even blaming us.
I know how your feeling. Just take one day at a time. Keep reading forums. Understand your going through a grieving process. You have to leave him to fight his own battles and protect your mental health as I’m sure that has suffered.
Remember you did not make him do drugs. That was a choice and he has to beat the demons and understand why he does that. But you can’t do that for him.
Looking back (hindsight) I should have just left him to get on wirh it. But all I did was try to protect him from doing drugs until it cost me my own mental well-being.
He will not let you go… he will be back… but hopefully you will be stronger to deal with it 🙂