Hiya, had a better day today after a tough couple days. My mum and two sisters came over to see me and the kids which was lovely they brought some chocolate and flowers too for me just the little pick me up I needed. I heard from my ex today I find if I leave it he does eventually make the effort and get in touch he’s taking boys to get haircuts sunday now he also asked me if I needed some money and said he only had a certain amount himself & could give me half of that or wait until he gets paid more money until next Friday & he will sort me out a fair bit. I don’t know if this is him trying to show me he’s being sensible and keeping a certain amount for himself without wasting it who knows. It was nice to hear from him I’m keeping strong and until I see changes will I give him time of day again. I have thought that too should I just accept it and let him have he’s time to go out get it out he’s system he’s honestly perfect for me other than that problem when we’re together, but we’ve tried that & it always ends up being more times and he starts to take the piss then we argue they can’t do anything in moderation hence why they have a problem. It all comes down to hes will to change and communicating better. What upset me more when he relapsed was that he couldn’t just be honest that hurt more than him doing the cocaine itself. I think I pulled away from dabbling with cocaine because it was getting too much for him and didn’t want to encourage it. I thought me stopping would make him stop it didn’t work. Yeah coming on here helps watching YouTube videos knowledge is power I mean they may not be narcissistic but if they are we are prepared ???? I have thought about doing al anon zoom calls for families of addicts as this place really helps me on here so talking to people face to face could really make all the difference not feeling alone and venting to them instead of my mum gives her a break too! So sorry to hear he left in lockdown what a time to leave you eh we we’re together in the first one but he was drinking 3 or more times a week so it wasn’t good. I may get a note book and start writing things down who knows one day I may show him it only then would they get a real insight to the pain we have gone through. That’s all we can do whatever gets us through the day I take each day as it comes now and I’m trying not to overthink things but it’s hard sometimes. Nothing wrong with an age gap, go on girl I say haha. How long have you been together, my ex is 31 nearly 32, we were together 10 years this year ????. X
