Hi Florence,
Welcome to the Forum.
I am the Mum of an addict (alcohol and cocaine), and I fully sympathise with you, it’s not something that I would wish on my worst enemy, it’s like living in hell.
I can only speak from experience, and I so wish that I had done things differently, hindsight is a wonderful thing. I only have one child and he is an addict, but I now realise that this is not my fault.
I would not enable him by lending him money, never having it back, and being so much firmer with him and knowing when to walk away instead of trying all the time to make sure he was ok, I now realise that this was him manipulating me.
Is he prepared to get any help or is he ready to do this? Only they can decide this.
There are lots of stories on here which are all sadly the same. Try and read the Theresa thread, lots of mums with sons who are addicts, and it’s so good to be able to chat with other people in a similar situation.
Keep in touch on here, and know that you are not on your own.
Take care
Dx