Hey, I’m okay thank you haven’t heard a thing from him since last Tuesday when he relapsed. It’s our boys birthday tomorrow so he may get in touch who knows but I honestly don’t care we are gonna have a good day regardless! He’s probably spent all he’s money now feels guilty as he said he would get our boy some trainers. He gets bad depression after he uses now coz of what he’s doing letting himself and everyone down I know it affects him coz he is a decent person deep down. It he’s weekend this week to have kids so he may or may not get in touch if he doesn’t then he’s walked away and honestly it’s hard but I’m used to doing it all on my own now. I would of walked away if we didn’t have kids, don’t get me wrong I still love him but he needs to sort he’s life out! I don’t try for the kids that’s up to him to get in touch to see them if he doesn’t well then he looks bad not me. Yeah it’s a vicious circle alright! He isn’t horrible but just so distant he just doesn’t get in touch or ignores me after he relapses or uses. I asked he’s mum how things are she just said he’s been home all the time it had only been two days though lol. I think he’s just not in a great place at the moment he realises what he’s lost but can’t stop himself, I’m hoping he gets help soon and doesn’t let it continue. I think doing well is a trigger too they think it won’t hurt but they can’t just have a drink and a few lines it doesn’t work that way it’s a binge go missing for a day or two then return I’m just glad he’s not using my place as a hotel now! I feel sorry for hes mum but she could do more if that was my son I’d keep pushing that he needs help and be on he’s case she just lets him sleep all day and doesn’t ask him anything. I don’t know mentally I’m better ive just accepted the situation as it is now which is shit but it’s my reality all I can do like yourself is just keep strong and be the best person and mother I can be and hope that he sorts himself out one day! I feel like their mums blame us to they think we mess with their heads make them worse when it’s them she told me I shouldnt tell him that if he’s clean for so long he can come home she said that don’t help it’s pressure well it’s motivating in my eyes and better than saying nothing. I’m just gonna back away from them both let them sort hes mess out if he ever does! How you doing? Hope your okay X
