Hi redfox
Sorry for jumping in on post, but couldn’t help but want to ask about the distancing thing you mentioned. My ex has been in full swing addiction mode for nearly 3 months now!! He has completely cut family and friends off. Turns up every now and again to see kids and his mam. He has distanced himself so much. Makes no contact with anyone for days sometimes over a week. I do know that he is ashamed in a way but that doesn’t stop him from continously using.
I feel I’m in a similar situation in regards to not being with or living with my ex anymore. Do you find he is more distant with you due to him not living with you and thinking it’s over, what’s the point in trying, so let’s use instead or does he just distance himself when he has relapsed but is around often when not using?
It’s been that long since my ex has had a period of time drug free b4 relapsing that I’m thinking that he jusy stays away because he wants nothing to do with me anymore. Not the possibility that the drugs are keeping him away through burying his feelings, thoughts and emotions.
He has admitted that he has been using nearly everyday, so I know his mind will be clouded. However, I cant help but think he’s not bothered anymore and really would not care less if I was to move on with someone else.
He does display odd moments of slight affection, but this is probably part of manipulation. He has done some cruel things which I don’t think he would have done if it wasn’t for the coke. He has never raised his hand or been vile towards me. Sometimes snappy and grumpy on a comedown, but the real nail in the coffin was cheating. He did part blame the drugs for this. That doesn’t stop me from thinking that it’s because he doesn’t care anymore. It’s so hard to work out what the hell is going on in their head.
Hope you are doing ok