Thanks Harper.
I agree it’s heartbreaking ????
I had an awful dream yesterday night and woke up sweating and crying… I dreamt my life had fast forward 5 years and my husband was still addicted to crack but he looked different, skinny, Ill, and had lost teeth. Was crying so hard when I eventually woke I had to control myself as I actually have my 5 year old sleeping in my bed.
He called me again for money the other day… he was trying to make me feel bad and kept saying ‘nobody wants to help me’, made me mad as I’m struggling to put food on the table to feed his son and everyone, his family and mind have given him grands of money over the last year before we knew he had a drug problem!!!! How can he say nobody wants to help him…. His mum offered to get a loan out and pay for him to go rehab but he doesn’t want to go!
I just in utter disbelief how much he has changed… he was the most loving husband, never one for going out with hos friends- would rather be at home with me chilling watching films, we would do so many family day outings, ride our bikes, picnics, he was the best day I could ever ask for our son and now he’s an angry, broken man who just talks about needing money and how bad things are for him! He lies, manipulates and can be a nasty piece of work. The complete opposite of the man I married, the man he was for 9 years of our 10 year relationship!
I cry so much, sooooo many questions… when did it start, why did he do it, does he not love me, do he not care, does he not want to be a family, does he not miss us, how long is this going to go on for… etc etc etc could go on for days!
I wish I had answers….. the biggest question…. Will I ever get my wonderful husband back ☹️