Hi- I know just how you feel – it sounds exactly like my day to day life- fortunately, our relationship ended recently but alcoholics are extremely manipulative and play on our kind hearted ness!
I too couldn’t talk to anyone as I thought I’d be judged!
It’s extremely frustrating, the lies, the denial, abuse!! Everything!
feel free to talk to me – my relationship was only 18 months so I can only imagine how mentally and physically exhausted you must be