Georgie, this forum is a godsend. There are people here who understand, they have, or are going through similar problems. No one will judge you, there are also people in recovery offering support and advice too.
My family aren’t aware of my son’s addiction either. It would rock their worlds! But I have confided in two close friends which helps.
It’s tough for me and my husband and daughter. Like you say, you try to hold it together, just take each minute, hour, day at a time. Don’t think too far ahead.
Our sons lash out at us because we are the closest to them. Deep down they don’t mean it, the drugs turn them into people we don’t recognise. It’s definitely no reflection on you as a mother- you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t care.
❤