Addicts tell you want you want to hear and produce a smokescreen to others to hide and enable their use
They make you think your are mad and undermine any self esteem or confidence you have to keep you where they want you
You begin to lie not only to yourself but to others to cover up what is going on so you are a co conspirator and part of the web
Trust you instincts
You are stronger than you realise and you will look back and know that
It will take time but don’t panic you need to rebuild yourself it takes time and it takes a long time but give yourself a chance
He will only get arrested if there is an incident and you call them and that will start the chain reaction of social services intervention
Because he is using drugs FT and drinking all in the family home around your daughter
They will definitely come to the house and investigate
They may contact his employer
They will possibly contact yours
They will contact you GP to see what the level of risk is to your daughter and to yourself
If you go down that avenue it will be recorded but he might not be charged and there will be that fallout to cope with
He could also turn it round on you
I would honestly advise you to take control of the situation by yourself and get you both into a better place
Your employer should help to support you
I often say out loud to myself when I am thinking about a situation I was in or how ill I was with stress and anxiety when my ex husbands crack addiction took over “Christ he nearly killed me” it stops me in my tracks
I cannot believe how it dragged me down under the lies and deceit
I was paralysed with grief
I could sit for hours just staring into space reliving the nightmare of what was a happening trying to make sense of it
I went out with a friend and her daughter on Friday I was telling them stories about what had happened when I say it out loud it’s sounds ridiculous now that I put up with any of it; they of-course are shocked, but it is now “the past” and we ended up laughing at the absolute absurdity of it all. It does make you realise how much of yourself you lose trying to save and protect them.
Be strong believe in yourself
You know he is not doing the right thing you don’t have to settle for this
You can move on from this and you will grow beyond it and him to something better
You are not abandoning him
You can’t fix him
He has to want to make that change himself
He has pushed you to a point where you have realised it’s not enough and you and your daughter don’t deserve any more abuse
Because that is what you are describing
It’s not right xx