Wow, they sound very similar, our men!
My husband finally mentioned being abused when he was in his mid 50’s. He’d blocked it out so thoroughly he’d never mentioned it to counsellors or anyone and it took a massive skinful plus near hypothermia from being drunk out in the rain one night before it came out.
I wonder if you are somewhere that has a peer support talking group which meets on a Monday night. I don’t think I’m allowed to name them. My one benefits a lot from going there; he didn’t get on with the local addiction group, either. I wish I could tell you the name of the rehab joint we used, they were fab, even though it meant a four hour each way drive to Halstead for visiting.
I, too, hope yours has been sober for the last two weeks. That’s quite an achievement and something really positive to build on.