Hey you,
How’s things your end??
How’s he doing getting straight? Hope all’s good!!
I’ve not been on here for a little bit,
I’ve been so busy with school stuff but life’s been odd, I’ve just sat staring out the window,
I just don’t no if I’m coming or going.
So he came to dinner, one of my girls chose not to come as she just can’t stand him right now and he really fixates on her and every single thing she says or does and try’s to find fault or cause a stir! so we made her excuses.
It was a good night otherwise I guess, I paid as always lol, it’s the only relationship I’ve ever had where I pay for everything!, so he drove my car but I put the fuel in, paid for our dinners and then he suggested we go to an arcade.
The kids heard so I couldn’t really say no.
I then cashed up loads of money for pointless machines and bought us drinks while we were there…
he’s no different though
I have stepped away loads, I’m not messaging him at all,
He messaged on Saturday and told me a load of twaddle about how he’s different now and has a different mind set….already by Saturday lol
So I knew he was on something while he was messaging because he was so keen to chat lol, and the messages were so long!
Next morning he admitted he had taken Mandy!! No sleep at all and he had to work!! A 12 hour shift on no sleep! Idiot!
And today he calls and asks to come over but on his way got really aggressive towards another driver (I’m on the hands free in the car so I heard everything) and because I ask him to stay calm because I don’t need him screaming swear words down the phone, he comes to mine n starts screaming at me that I don’t back him, that I’ve ruined the day and blah blah blah…
I was having a lovely day until then with our little girl! She is there for his onslaught which I think is ridiculous.
Anyway I’ve not heard from him since his last screaming fit a few hours ago….he came and went 3 times, each time shouting at me but standing in my doorway so the whole road can hear his stupid attempt at making out I’m the angry aggressive one!
Complete narcissist! Like text book!
He’s crazy, so yeah I took baby out the house to the park to try and lift our day a little, he’s now parked in my driveway and has taken himself to my neighbors house to have a drink by himself….he tried telling me that he deserves a reward for working!
He works 3 half days and 1 full day and has a two day and 1 day off where he gets high on both!
He spends all his money on his drugs lol
I’ve had to give my notice in at work today too, I never planned on having a baby and him doing this… I can’t go back just yet, I need to get my girls sorted and then look into childcare and my options… so my heads really messed up, i have no one to talk to about any of this, his mums stuck her head back in the clouds and I just don’t have anyone I can trust to tell what’s going on and that can actually give me advice and help.
Nothing seems like it will ever change, it’s just if I can pretend like him that things are great when it’s all a lie. Xx