Hi,
You are not crazy sweet, its difficult because when you are in that sort of relationship its hard to see the bigger picture.
The people that love you can see it and try and tell you, but it’s not as easy as that, when you have been subjected to this sort of manipulation, it does not happen right away, it’s over a period of time, you dont see it coming your self. Addicts are very good at manipulating to get what they want. It’s all about them he may of told you he loved you, it’s hard to know if it was real or whether it was lies. I know exactly where you are coming from with what you say
It has taken me months to realise I was not the problem he was, but he made me feel it was all my fault. Its cost me hundreds of pounds with a therapist to actually find myself again, this man destroyed me inside and out. I would look in the mirror and I didnt like what I saw.
He left me pregnant turned his back on his children months ago. Since then I have had a baby boy 2 weeks ago, I look at him and the other children I have the best of him. Hes blocked me on everywhere so he doesnt even know hes a father again. But he deserve not to know, he had 5 years from me, he cheated he stole hes out thousands out of me and never contributed to the children. I work full time and support the children. He would rather buy alcohol and smack, I completely get what you mean when you say you feel used. This man took everything from me my self respect my identity. Hes moved on with another alcholic. Good luck I say. But karma is waiting for him belive me, dont blame yourself he is the one with the problems and needs help. You need to think of you now its baby steps one day at time x