Hi Jenni,
Sorry to read your story and sad that you can’t talk with family and friends about how your husband’s addiction is affecting you. I’m so glad that you’ve found this forum but if you would like more support please contact us at Icarus Trust. We are a charity that offers help to people in your situation, dealing with a family member’s addiction.
We have trained and experienced people called Family Friends, who you could be put in touch with if you contact us. May be talking with one of them would help you to feel less isolated and alone and might help to find a way ahead.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
Good luck.