Hello both,
I’m so sorry for you both!!! That is both of you the partners of alcoholics…………..not the addicts!!
I was married to an alcoholic, it was a whirlwind romance, I was pregnant very quickly ( so I understand the tie to try to stay together because of a child ). We were together for 5 years, the ‘drink problem’ got progressively worse, he went to rehab more than once ( didn’t work ). It was like hell, it became full blown alcoholism and he died in 2012. I had to leave in 2011 with my then 4 year old son.
Anyhow, I’m here to try to give you some words of advice.
Jchrist11 : You mention your vows!!! Jchrist! wake up, is he keeping them??
This is what an addict depends upon, under the guise of love he’s keeping you there..This is not love, this is dependance and control. He is living off your energy.
Please get out of this relationship, and give yourself a chance of survival mentally.
SomeBloke: Hello, so sorry for you. You describe the situation so well. When you’re with someone, you think it’s them and their unique personality and experience.
I have the benefit of hindsight and reflection…..all alcoholics behave the in the same way. You need to take your little boy and leave!! I had to leave when my son was 4. He’s now 15 and has not been affected by living with an alcoholic, I had to leave for his sake and my own. You must do the same, before the child becomes affected. I recognise the agression you describe. You are right about the brain changing. Its sounds like she’s in an advanced state. My husband was in denial until the day he died. It will be all your fault according to the addict.
This must be affecting you deeply, please rescue yourself and your son. Making your son a priority is by leaving not staying….this is no Mother, even is she shows flashes of it.
Don’t worry about you being the man leaving etc…there are many female alcoholics too. The worry of not being believed used to get to me too. Gather evidence, take pictures of her passed out, film her ( without comprimising your safety ), document and date things. My husband used to threaten me that he would take my son away ( his brother was a lawyer ). It turned out after his death, that my brother in law, knew nothing about it. I had letters from the Priory etc anyway and had gathered evidence to prove that he was an alcoholic.
Your son does not need an alcoholic as a Mother. Hoping that you find the courage to get out of the situation.x