I totally feel you… i personally don’t want to be some kind of poster girl for surviving my husband’s horrible behaviour, yet i don’t want to throw away our potential. I hate this place we’re in… full of hurt, anger and fear of the future, yet chucking everything away if he can be a good husband and father seems like throwing the baby out with the bath water!!! We are where we are..
I’m worried your husband has swapped alcohol in now as his crutch. Has he done the 12 steps? My husband has gone through them and it has completely opened his eyes to how horribly he’s treated most people his whole life. That’s his disease… chronic self-centredness. He’s a changed man at the moment, hopefully will stay that way, for the kids sake at least. He finds work stressful and took it out on us, then turned to drugs. Now he seems to appreciate how lucky he is.
But yes… i am really angry, hurt and disappointed. The magic has definitely gone… i hope it returns..