Danman, thanks so, so much for your kind reply. You have been a massive help to me.
I think deep down I know he has a problem. When I was last there, he said that he only takes it now and again and doesn’t ‘have to take it’. My response to that was ‘well if that is the case, just stop taking it if it is a choice and not an addiction’.
He then went on to say stuff like everything can be addictive – junk food, coffee, cigarettes, booze, but they are all legal and nobody says anything about that. Just stupid lame excuses and reasons for doing the Coke and how it is perfectly ok and that I shouldn’t worry about him.
I am so sorry to hear your story and the loss of your friend. I really take my hat off to you for your desire to quit and your drive to do so. As you say, that is half the battle and he must want to do that to for himself.
I have more or less pleaded with him to not take it, but it falls on deaf ears. You are bang on right that working in a bar is a massive issue. It is the whole party atmosphere that will be fuelling the fire of his Coke use. Ever since he left school he has being working in various bars and so it is deeply ingrained in him – that lifestyle.
I think what you say here is so true. I think he does associate me coming over with him being able to let rip, take a few lines and drink all night, especially with his day off the next day. I also think you are right that he is hooked and not just taking the drug when I am there. This must be an ongoing thing.
Drug use is so hard when you are on the outside looking in. I feel powerless to do anything and it really is up to him to want to stop. It makes me so frustrated as in other aspects, he takes care of his fitness, goes to the gym regularly, eats wells but it is the Coke, binge drinking and smokes that are a problem.
Thanks so much again, Danman. Just having someone to talk with about this and gain insight from has really helped me so much. I wish you all the best with your own journey.