My advixe here is harsh:
Run, run, run. Don’t stop. Don’t look back. Be clear… tell him you are leaving because this life is not a life worth living. You can’t make him get help. The more you try to help him, the less capable he becomes of helping himself.
If you leave and he gets better you can revisit the relationship.
Your heart is breaking over and over while you are stuck there being hurt over and over. He is using you and unfortunately you are enabling him by saving him from himself.
It’s a horrific and devastating feeling but when in active addiction their brains are not functioning like yours or mine. The drugs are all they see or hear.
It’s an illness sure enough but recovery is a choice, one only the addict can make.
If your partner is willing, get them in to ca/na/aa. They are a friendly and welcoming bunch.
CA saved our family. But only because my husband was willing and put in the work. They are amazing.
Good luck and please get support because this life is incredibly difficult.
x