Please don’t punish yourself, your wife is at peace now! It is a horrible disease that gets to grips with our loved ones. My partner became very combative during lockdown and my son and I escaped these times with our 1 walk a day (which was our government rules) to cope when we were stuck in during lockdown I emotionally detached and didn’t take personally the things he said. I realise now that it wasn’t him speaking it was brain damage due to the toxin levels in his system. He was suffering with Peripheral Neuropathy which was debilitating for him, he was very anxious and couldn’t leave the house and wasn’t eating so was very thin, it was disturbing to witness his demise and he was choking on blood but in the end he went peacefully in his sleep and in the days running up to his passing (he was on the floor due to another fall) he kept apologising and thanking me for loving him, saying he was scared and then describing his hallucinations as he was ebbing away! He is at peace now and so is your wife, just try and remember the good times that you had together. Take care of yourself.
