I am so sorry you are in so much pain
I hope you are putting some distance to him now
I can tell you that he will never tell you the whole truth EVER
They have two lives
Almost like a personality disorder
Which they probably do have as the brain chemistry becomes so altered
I have found out things from other people and by using his phone when he was crashed out and he would still get really angry and tell me it wasn’t true
People were just out to ruin our marriage making things up
That is was only about the drugs
There was no cheating
He would never ever do that to me
So my brain was in total conflict I knew deep down he was lying but I so wanted to believe him
But there is no smoke without fire
And because my ex is on a psych ward he sometimes thinks he is talking to someone else and the things I have learned; I did suspect but as you say they damage you because you can’t believe this is your partner who has been leading this disgusting double life
I have even learned he has a secret child that was born just after his first daughter to a women he used to see behind then girlfriends back and they did crack and heroin together
He also used the drugs with his girlfriend when she was pregnant
Some morals ??
The coke world is like another dimension everyone knows everyone
Everyone’s best mates but scamming each other
the dealers scamming the addicts the addicts scamming each other it’s a total world of chaos
Coke heroin tramadol pregablin Valium Polydrug use to regulate their emotions and functioning
Sexual favours in exchange for drugs
Escorts – sex sites – internet hook ups –
It’s all normal to them
It’s just what happens
And as part of that – secrets are kept – because all their main priority is getting hold of drugs and keeping that going and when you are off it you are disinhibited and don’t care
The women/girls definitely offer BJ as a norm and they will have sex for drugs and cash
Many of us keep the Fassade of their life going so they look respectable and functioning
You have to step away to remember who you are and what your boundaries used to be – take out the drugs – you wouldn’t put up with any of it
Reclaim your strength and yourself and live life truthfully and happily
I would never have believed that my ex was the man I came to find they become master manipulators and their is no end or boundary to the lengths or depths they will go to
They tell you what you want To hear
Trust your intuition. – it is always right
Forgive yourself and let it all go