Hiya nikki, I hope your OK,
I’m over a month clean now from coke and I’ve been using for 12 year. I used once every few week, or just weekends or sometimes once a month. Your still an addict BTW if you use once a month.
I’ve tried everything to quit, hypnosis, councilling, self help vids ect.. But after a bad relapse on boxing day I finally joined cocaine anonymous, I got a sponsor and worked the steps and I got my best clean time of 4 months, then 3 months, a few little blips and now I’m on just over a month.
My gf kicked me out in May, and now I’ve just got a new flat, I said summat nasty things off my head and I deserved it. I hate what it has done to me. I hate the stuff. It’s like a devil on your shoulder telling u that you will be OK.,, just one bag, have it quik then go home. Which you know is not the case.
For your ex to quit this is my opinion and most, he needs to admit he has a problem and want the help. Get to a CA meeting either in person or online on zoom and get a sponsor. And work the steps. People think it’s all about god and its not its any higher power we want. Mines mother nature and god, a bit like law of attraction.
I pray every morning and night. I meditate each day. You have to lead an honest life, things like no lying even little ones, no dropping litter, be kind, be nice and loving. If you do these things I can honestly say your life gets better and good things start coming your way.
Also in ca we take each others numbers and you ring people each day just to talk. It’s scary at 1st but I’ve made so many good friends.
Also the main thing is he needs a new way of life, this is a must, he can’t drink alcohol no matter what, this is a main trigger for coke and classed as a relapse weather he is an alcoholic or not, no other drugs if any kind. He needs cut every one off who uses! If his mum used cut her off! That’s how much it matters. Get a new phone number.
Avoid all triggers, pubs, bbqs, party’s, places of use, places were picked drugs up. But most of all he needs to want this for himself.
The biggest side effect of coke is the comedown when it’s wearing off, that’s why he was crying to you admitting everything he had run out and hit his rock bottom. This causes suicide and depression for days. I’ve known about 5 close people who have committed suicide from coke. It uses all your dopamine up in your brain and you hit a bit state of depression.
My suggestion is if he wants to stop, ask his mum can he go back if he goes to CA Each day on zoom or face to face meetings, and prove that he is working the programme and not go out ect.. Because at his mates he will get worse
Also this is not your fault 1 bit. We do it to ourselves, but what you learn in CA from the alcoholics annoymous book, is that certain people have allergys to coke and beer, we’re say you can have 1 drink and go home it effect other people different. Some doctors have said its from child hood trauma ect..
But you have done the right thing, he needs to do it for himself now, like me I’m on my own in my new 2 bed flat, and I’m scared ill use but if I keep working the programme I’ll be OK. You need to go out with friends and think of you. There’s no harm in checking on him ect. If he gives you abuse and blames you. I wouldn’t bother speaking to him. But thats up to. Ive got as much as I can in for now. Hope this helps. Feel free to ask me anything