[nikkic]

Thank you for replying. It’s such a wave of emotions. It’s like my head is an emotional washing machine with fear, anxiety, hate, sadness, going round and round. I’m trying to message back when he does, but that causes me hate and comfort all mixed together. Doesn’t help that I didn’t hear from him all weekend then my eldest had a complete meltdown last night. It’s exhausting. I know I need to actually cut him off. Like what else does he actually have to do to me before I do that ? I’m mad at myself for still holding onto hope. Helps venting on here though. And am always grateful for replies.