Purpleheart – for me coke took over when I reached for it on a Monday morning and got the supplies in after the usual weekender bender. I needed a pick me up to operate at work (which was during lockdown and we were all at home). Given the weekend I had, I felt low and just thought if I could get through the usual Monday blues with a bit of help that I’d refrain from using it during the week. This was a falacy.
I became ever more reliant on it over the next 12 months to Feb 2022 (teetotal since then). Once you start to use Coke during your normal day then this is where the lines are crossed. Cocaine will numb emotion, or at least the emotion that matters as you can’t face what you’ve become. When that happened to your man, well only you I guess can piece that together?