Thankyou for posting. If you would like someone to talk with please contact us at Icarus Trust as we are a charity that supports families having to deal with addiction. One of our trained and experienced Family Friends would contact you if you get in touch and may be it would help you to talk things through with someone who would understand what you are dealing with and how you are feeling.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
Good luck.