Hi, your situation sounds very stressful, I’m really sorry that your family are going through this. I have a son who has addiction issues and I find that hard to cope with, without having to worry about small children.
I would talk to an addiction helpline, they will be able to support you with this. I have lent heavily on Drugsfam and they’ve been really helpful. This forum is full of amazing people who will also be there for you.
Something that I have learned is to not keep it a secret between you and your wife. If you have relatives that you trust and know you both well I would probably confide in them. If you keep it a secret it adds another layer of stress and if people know what’s going on they can help. My son gets angry if anyone in our family finds out but I’ve decided that as it’s me that has to deal with the fall out I’ll decide if someone needs to know. Hopefully you may have someone who can help you with the children. I can understand why you don’t want Social Services involved and only you can decide on that. I really hope that your wife wakes up and can get the support she needs from local addiction services and Narcotics Anonymous. I guess no one chooses to become addicted to drugs/alcohol but that doesn’t make it any easier to cope with. I hope things improve for you all xxx