Thanks, JamesB, your words help immensely. I’ve been struggling with it all over again after almost 40 years. He confessed to cocaine, cleaned up, things got better, we moved on. We hadn’t even talked about it – for decades. He became a loving husband and father, and then recently I found out that he had cheated on me numerous times during those difficult years – and, it all just slammed back into me. All those so hard days and nights, he was awful and I couldn’t figure it out. I have never even seen him use it – ever. He deserves forgiveness, and I believe that he feels ashamed of what happened all those years ago. And, if he could change it – he would. However, I don’t believe that you can heal from some things. If your child or parent passes away, you’re not gonna heal. That will always hurt. It can’t be changed – as your loved one is not coming back. He can’t change what he did. The best hope is acceptance, be realistic. Then make your decisions. Most are not going to win this battle.
