Thankyou so much for reading my post, I will respond to you as transparent and honest as possible as an addict myself,
It took me a long time to understand empathy and gratitude no matter how much people tried to help I physically did not possess the ability to feel love or to have gratitude for those around me a good way to put it is addiction completely blinds an addict addiction is all we care about regardless if half the world wanted to help until we ourselves want change it’s never going to happen.
A man once told me in rehab ‘rock bottom has a trap door’ and it’s true no matter how hard I fell it kept getting worse and worse there’s multiple reasons why eventually I wanted to change but a big big turning point was when I had no one I am only sharing from my own experience but eventually I had nobody I was alone and that’s what sparked that drive to want to better myself for me not for anyone else but me and that was important before I could love anyone else I had to love me, addicts are in pain we numb pain and quite often we don’t like ourselves or we don’t love ourselves so how can we love anyone else, so it was when I had no one but me I begun fighting for my life back.
I lost it all now I have it all back, and some I am not perfect yet I have a long way to go but I come along way, as for rehab in Ireland there were several charity run rehabs which helped me I found rehabs rarely turn an addict away despite financial position, however you can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink it! I crawled into rehab the last time I was so desperate but my first time I went to please others, it takes so much work but don’t lose hope my family often said they ‘detached from me with love’ they couldn’t allow my addiction to destroy them too, my current partner and I couldn’t physically be together during my active addiction we spoke for 2 years but being together was impossible when I got sober we met and 3 years later I am living with her in my life addicts are the most resilient strong people I know I am sending my prayers for you both!