I’m so sorry to read your story and see how much pain your very hard and brave choice has given you. If you would like to talk through how you are feeling and get some help, please contact us at Icarus Trust as we are a charity that offers support to people going through what you have been dealing with. One of our trained and experienced Family Friends who would understand what you’ve been through would get in touch if you contact us.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
All the best to you.