I see this post got active again! i haven’t been on for a while, i don’t know about others but sometimes i find it very triggering, especially when it is a person who is suffering from addiction rather than people like me who suffer with seeing a loved one afflicted with this horrible condition.
It all reminds me how hard this life is.
But at the same time reminds me how lucky i am that my husband is still doing okay. We’re soldiering on and he’s horrified at what he’s done and i feel a bit of trust growing now.
I can totally recommend getting talking therapy, it’s very hard work and sometimes i feel like not going but ive suffered from many difficult things over my life. I’ve done 20 sessions and we’ve barely started. But being able to talk to someone without feeling like you are burdening them is really good. They help you identify how you feel and why. I was very sad last week as I’m dreading xmas, she helped me find a few positives and I’m holding on for dear life.
I’m so, so lucky as my husband is repairing his damaged relationships with our kids and I’m so sorry for those of us who aren’t so fortunate. Sal98, i see what you wrote and just wanted to send hugs really, i don’t blame you for being down. The trust has to be there and if we can’t trust the small parts how can we know where it will end. I hope you can get through this but it does sound as if he’s making the right moves.
Always in the back of my mind is this: Am i stupid to trust this man again? Is he genuine, or am i seeing what i want to see? Is he just saying a the right things to get me off his back and go back to the dark side?
I dread catching him in a lie, i caught many in the early days of him trying to damage limit. I warned him then it’s making him look like a total idiot expecting me to trust him again. This was when it all came out and he tried to pretend it wasn’t that bad. It was very bad indeed though, not the worst i read on here, but I think he was teetering on the edge of no return really.
If i catch him lying ever again the trust I’m starting to find will evaporate.
I hope you are okay.
xxx