Hi Debbie,
You arent alone, there are many many partners in your boat with you, you dont feel like it at the time though.
My husband is 50, and we’ve been married 15 years, for most of that 15 years he was a cocaine addict. Started as a social thing then spiralled. He is now 2 years clean, and has not drunk any alcohol either. The pandemic probably helped him wierdly enough.
I can’t tell you what made him stop in the end, but he did it alone without rehab or groups. He is very determined in everything he does though, so with my support he did it. Even 2 years on I still worry that he’ll relapse, but one day its got to be forever right? Hopefully this is it. He’s stopped before for months here and there, but never this long, and his language about people who use coke has changed, he thinks negatively of them now.
He did cut ties with most of his mates that do it, and spent more time at home (most of the time really) and occasionally will see friends that don’t do it.
My life was awful, he was absent, nasty, aggressive, cheated on me. I took an overdose because my life was so sad. I couldnt see any light.
Coke is a sly drug, it reels you in slowly and turns you into a different person, cocaine is your priority and anyone that gets in the way of that (i.e me) is the enemy.
I’ve had the best 2 years of my life since he stopped, and it is possible, but your husband has to admit he has a problem and want to stop, because until that point you may aswell be talking to a wall.
Sending hugs x