absolutely agree with what ash says, we have to look after ourselves and try not to lose ourselves completely in all of it, it’s a very hard situation to live through but we can survive.
i didn’t do support groups as i tend to try not to think about everything too much, i come on here now and again but do find facing up to the way it is so painful. some people swear by them but in honesty i dont like talking about it all very much. in 18 sessions of counselling i still have barely mentioned it as i will just break down. writing it on here is a little easier than voicing it, though if I’m having a fiwn day i tell my husband and he listens and comforts me. it helps him accept what damage he has done and gives him the chance to put things right (i know there is an element of codependency there but done in the right way i think we are okay at the moment).
the key things are that they can get better if they are determined enough and until they are well clear of drugs their word cannot be trusted at all. our best position is to get as much information as possible, i read a lot on healthline but a lot of other places too and then we have to decide what we want from all this, we need to set our boundaries and be prepared to enforce them and sadly be prepared to lovingly detach at some point further down the line x