Hi,
Thank you for posting. If you could do with talking with someone who would understand what you are going through please contact us at Icarus Trust as we are a charity that provides support for people dealing with addiction in their family. One of our trained and experienced Family Friends would talk with you if you get in touch and maybe this would help you to not feel so alone.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
All the best.