Hi Kran91,
I wrote a long post back to you but it has not submitted. Thank you for replying X
You are not an idiot for speaking to people, you need support and it’s important you have people you can talk to.
It really is a lonely place at times isn’t it?
People on this forum understand and I get everything you are saying. It’s a cycle and can get really tough at times.
I am seeing a counsellor and this has helped me so much. I realise I have choices, but not ready to make any yet, hoping for a calm Christmas.
It is a sad reality to see from your post that even when they are accessing support, relapses will happen.
We are very good at putting on brave faces and keeping things as normal as we can but I know how draining and heartbreaking it is too.
I am trying to focus on myself more. Stop researching, questioning and making myself ill with it but it always depends on his behaviours.
I know I will have to eventually decide if I can live like this forever if he chooses to continue this path.
I wish you all the best as you deal with all this.
I hope you have a good Christmas, take care of yourself as well x xx