I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I found out 9 months ago that my husband had been abusing cocaine in secret too, so I understand the pain you are in.
I would recommend getting things out in the open, having another a person who knows what has happened helps. If you can’t talk to people in your life, Adfam have people that you can talk to to help you. And coming on here helps too, to know that you aren’t alone