Sorry Dan man83 I accidentally replied to naturegrrl who, as you can see above, is having a similar problem with her partner so I was asking her if she has done coke with him, I’m sorry to hear about your friend taking his own life too, my sister hung herself and unfortunately it was my nine year old niece at the time who found her hanging from the loft because she ran in to the house first after spending the night at mine. Dan, I REALLY REALLY GENUINELY know where your coming from, except I used cocaine because it enabled me to talk about the attack I went through at the hands of two foreign men, I’m just grateful I had the strength to take it all the way through court, along with their DNA as well as cctv of me being followed and dragged down an alley, they got seven years, however, even then I found out in court that one of them had six sexual offences on his record in his own country! Yet, our government hadn’t checked this properly AND GRANTED HIM AND HIS WIFE AND CHILD IN TO OUR COUNTRY, he was in receipt of benefits and had a house that cost even more than my home at the time. Anyhow, after the sentence they received all of the support and care from the police etc just stopped. It was almost like they had their conviction, resulting in their “brownie points “ so to speak, and I was just left. I didn’t speak or wash even for around three weeks and ended up taking a HUGE overdose and I was so close to death they had to pump my stomach. I couldn’t sleep because I re lived as clear as you can see now, the entire beating and rape every time I started to sleep, I didn’t want to stay awake because I could physically smell them on me, then a friend introduced me to coke. For the FIRST TIME EVER I started to talk about what happened to me, but, it lead me down a path where I couldn’t cope or feel safe unless I had it in my system. Did you have a trigger do you think?