Hello all
Firstly thank you all for sharing your stories, as I’m so thankful you have because it’s letting me make some understanding of what’s happened to my relationship.
My partner called a halt to our relationship the day before Christmas Eve. I knew something was up for a few weeks but as we have a distance relationship I couldn’t see him face to face to really know what was going on.
Prior to us becoming an item we’d been out together for a few years in ours 20’s However, we both eventually moved on with different people. A few years ago we reconnected (as singletons) became good friends and supported each other through our own personal ventures into coupledom, eventually realising we could be a couple together.
I was aware he took cocaine, he knew my views on drugs (which hadn’t changed from the first time round). I wasn’t though aware to the extent he took cocaine, and seeing first hand the impact on his health I said it concerned me (as did his family to me and to him) the consequences to him and those who loved him. I never judged him, never told him what to do but when he blind sided me with his decision to end the relationship he said it was because of my judgement, my looking down on him and him referencing everything I’d done to make him feel that way. At no point did he ever bring these things up to me in our relationship rather stored everything up and saw me as being the problem. He said something changed he can’t put his finger on it but he feels nothing for me.
Like most things I’m hearing on here being bewildered, shocked and made to feel the problem is the cruel effects of this drug on those people who genuinely come from a good place, in their love and care for someone they love.
I hope we all gain our own peace of mind, and know we didn’t force someone to take cocaine, they chose to take it.
Take time to heal yourselves, and be kind to you.