Thank you so much for your responses.
Debc, I’m sorry to hear your son is an addict and abusive. You must worry about him so much. I feel that life is a kind of living hell with an addict. There are the rare good days which give you a glimmer of hope. Most days are bad though. I wake up dreading what kind of mood he’s going to be in.
My husband knows he needs to sort it out but hasn’t made an effort to (as far as I know, I’m too afraid to ask him). I think he does coke most days and he also drinks every night too which can’t help.
I’ve come to realise that things will not improve and feel despair. I love him so much but I can’t take any more. He cannot think rationally and is very volatile and paranoid making conversations extremely difficult.
ZoeG, I’m sorry your partner is so horrible to you. It’s hard when you care for them to walk away. I can’t believe the things my husband says to me. It’s true what you say, it’s like a completely different level of nastiness.
Sending you both strength x