Hi,
I feel I have to reply being the original poster, and my story being the opposite to yours in someways!
My Husband unbeknown to me had an addiction in 2001 (been together since 15, 26 years). There were times I asked “are you okay?” as he did not seem quite right. 2 years on I found out why, more hurtful a family member was supplying it and everyone but me knew!
Strangely I hit 39 and to this day cannot explain why I suggested using it!! My only explanation is that it was a pathway I was meant to take. A pathway that led to me being verbally abused by Husband in ways that can be forgiven but never forgotten. My own Husband and Son hitting me and reporting me to Social Services, when and this is the truth I give my children the most love a Mother could give, I am not perfect yet I was told I was worthless! I did something that I could never have dreamt I would do and that was to have an emotional affair – I laughed and I smiled for hours and for the first time in life (that’s a positive).
I have gained self esteem and for the first time in 40 years felt the feeling of liking which turned into loving myself (not the ego). I have been honest from the start, sometimes I believe this was my biggest mistake, yet I am true. I may still use, yet I aid so many charities by volunteering, help anyone and am not a bad person. 2 modules off of a qualified lawyer and last year passed the first year of my degree. I however have lost many people along the way, those who in the past were huge drug users yet believe the past is the past.
I don’t really know where this is going – all I know is that each of us that have commented have met the hardest part and that is to admit!!
Happy New Year and much love.
Debs xx