Thank you Lorry321,
Your words have not gone unnoticed and it is very supportive and encouraging.
I decided to draw a line in the sand and move on with my life. You’re right, being on cocaine and coming out of rehab has shown me there was never a kind side to this man and he has simply been cruel. I understand addiction and all that entails, but we live in hope that our efforts don’t go unnoticed and he never once has acknowledged my efforts.
I wasn’t hoping for a fall blown relationship as recovery and the both don’t go hand in hand, but it would’ve been nice to get to know him over the next year but clearly he had already made his mind up. There was elements of truth born out of his time on cocaine, he couldn’t understand this and I had to explain that I’m glad in all seriousness that the amends didn’t take place – how can he apologise for the hurt and pain caused when he’s run off to be with someone who fed into his addictive ways, not just cocaine but the sexual addiction that came with his time whilst high.
I hope he can continue on his road of recovery, but I don’t need the fallout anymore. It’s painful being on the outside looking in. He is currently having therapy for his sexual related issues, however I find this strange when he is with someone who was part of the problems he was facing.
As soon as I realised that his addiction was more than just cocaine I told him I would be supportive, but it fell on death ears.
I hope one day I can look back on this time and be proud of how far I’ve come, I will never change my ways and caring for those in need.
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