How long ago did you find out? Its like your world has crashed around you isnt it.
One saving grace is that as soon as you found out he’s made a commitment to you, many people (including me) live on a rollercoaster for years not really knowing what the problem is, then knowing and trying to fix it, then thinking you are going mad because he’s changed and you dont want to believe he’s back on it, but deep down you know.
It is highly addictive, moreso psychologically addictive than what I would think were the worst drugs like heroin or meth. Coke is a sly drug, people can use it every now and then and carry on with life, never doing it one day and not being an addict, but for others, they cross the wall to addiction. I suppose its like being a social drinker, then an alcoholic, not everyone that drinks alcohol becomes an alcoholic, in the same way that not everyone who uses coke becomes addicted. But sadly I hear about it happening more and more these days. 🙁
My husband is 2 years clean now, of alcohol and cocaine, he’s doing amazing. I’m sure theres a niggle saying I could do it one night and i’d be ok…. but he wouldn’t. Once you’ve crossed the wall and become an addict, you’ll never go back to being able to do it once a year. xx