hi jopack
from what you say it is definitely possible that your partner has some kind of substance use disorder, but this does not necessarily indicate cocaine addiction. the dark wee and yellowed eyes seem more like an alcohol related issue to me as it’s liver problems and severe dehydration which would cause that sort of symptom. if you get the drug test strips of amazon the next time he leaves it in the toilet you could dip to get a result. the ones we had showed thc (cannabis), opioids and cocaine.
i take it you’ve asked him straight out and he’s presumably denied it? could you insist he does a drug test?
i am sorry to read your story and feel great sympathy that your dreams are falling apart in front of your face. it’s a horrible, sickening feeling.
do you have anyone in your family or his that you can talk to/get support?
i think my husband had somewhat of a breakdown over work which caused him to slip into addiction but it was a very gradual worsening situation snd didn’t just happen overnight. it’s no excuse either and cocaine didn’t make him be an a****le, he was being one already and the drugs made him think temporarily he felt better, but at the same time much worse … it’s complicated!!!!!
cocaine doesn’t make you do anything, it’s up to them to admit the problem and get help. addiction is not a choice but recovery is!
good luck as cocaine/ alcohol/ gambling/ mental health issues can take a huge toll on us in life and you sound as if you’re having a nightmare.
keep us posted if you feel up to it x