Hi Celeen,
Firstly I want to say that I understand where you are…I was married to an Alcoholic and left him with my Son ( then 5 ) after many years of suffering. I recognise everything you say, it’s a horror story and no one knows, as we never hear about the destruction that addicts are doing to their partners and families….we only ever hear about them.
Him being in rehab gives you the window to escape and construct a life for you and your children only. An addict is not a fit Parent and can never be in charge of children. For goodness sake! You are not the selfish one!!
Why should you have to stay on the rollercoaster / live in the eye of a hurricane which is not of your making anymore. Stay strong, get strong. Tell the School, tell everyone. I know how you feel shame in this, but in hindsight I wish I’d told everyone sooner and therefore asked everyone for help.
He and he alone is responsible for his well being and safety. I’m sure that you’ve tried for all these years to help him, but he still won’t help himself. As you say, so much damage has already been done to you and your children. Cut off, get out, get away, so it’s just you and the children. Him going to re-hab ( and the family invitation ) letter are proof that he’s an addict. You are the responsible therefore primary carer. GOOD LUCK, routing for you! You sound strong, and that’s why he’s attached to you…You can do it!