Just reading your post and wanted to thank you for this insight.
I am in the position of needing to put myself first, protect myself from the lies etc but have been torn up inside knowing he is not a bad person but the drugs change him and we have had some good times. The other half of me is not sure if he is capable of change, it is all he has known his whole life and he is 46 now. Maybe it’s too late for change with very little support available unless you can pay for it.
Thank you for sharing it is always interesting to get perspective from the other side.