Hey Tory, that will not be selfish of you at all. You need to put yourself first in this situation as they will too. You shouldn’t have to put up with this you deserve so much more, it’s also enabling him not suffering consequences. It’s so hard when you love them & they are still there but a shell of a person who’s brain is warped and thinks of only one thing. Can I ask why he’s still living with you? Do you need hes help financially is there no where else he can go? I also want to commend you for having the strength for 4 years, once I realised my partner was out and I have tried to have him back on two occasions but he’s either hidden it in the house and I’ve found it or he’s run off and I refuse to live like that. He will only come back if he’s 6 months clean or more. This is my boundary it keeps me sane and me an the children are out of the madness don’t get me wrong I miss him terribly but he’s got to want to change and I’ve realised there is nothing I can do now but hope. I wish I could say it gets easier but there is no definitive answer as it lies with the person who’s addicted to when they get the help. But you can take yourself out of the situation and control what you do as that’s all you can do. X
