Hi Pauline, firstly I’m so sorry to hear about your father. And your mom too. That’s a lot to deal with in the space of 2 years. Be proud of yourself for taking the first step in acknowledging you need to give these up for your health and for yourself in general but also, give yourself grace. It’s been a tough time for you.
It’s the morning I found most difficult too. I had Nurofen plus next to my bed and would take them to start my day. I would wait for them to kick in before getting up as I needed that motivation to get up. I totally understand how you found that difficult.
The most important thing now is you realise your trigger going in to it this time. When you’re ready to give up, maybe you could try and get into a routine in the morning of exercise or something else you enjoy so that when the pills are gone, you have something else to motivate you to get up for. Or perhaps listen to some music when you wake to help your mood. Music definitely can help as Maggie has said along the way. I still take that advice and music is on in my kitchen now every morning.
I’d suggest having a chat with your GP too as you’ve been through a lot recently. Without these pills, you can suffer anxiety and lack of motivation after the physical symptoms dissipate and a doctor can prescribe something or perhaps recommend things for you to try. Counselling might be an idea too for all you’ve been through.
I’m not sure if anyone around you knows about this but it’s helpful to have some emotional support. However, what I can say is you are not alone in this. This forum has become a little community of people who really care so you can chat to us. We’ll help anyway we can x