hey louise,
Firstly, how are you?
So sorry to read your story, wow you have been through alot. You’ve come to the right place as there is many us on here who understand how lonely and overwhelmed your feeling right now. Its a living nightmare one you would’nt wish on your worst enemy having an addict in your life.
Im a little further into my story then you but it started off the same way, hes use escalated into full blown addiction. A new baby, me kicking him out, him loosing jobs, depression he still goes back to it.
You will spend alot time trying to understand why he does the things he does and you wont make sense of it all. Gather as much information about addiction as you can this will help you understand and also not take it personally.
It will come above everything sadly which was so hard for me to accept. They will not change unless the consequences are so great even then they may carry on. You cannot help them unless they want to change it has to be their decision. you cannot control the outcome.
What you can control is what your willing to put up with if its affecting your mental health you have to put yourself first. If you feel it wont change then leave put you first this may provoke change in him or it may not he may do periods without it and go back.
Sadly it will get worse for him its a progressive disease. Unless he gets help and recovers this is the path he is on. You need to ask yourself where you fit in this situation if your enabling in any way its allowing the addiction to continue, sometimes cutting them off is the best thing for you both as it is a emotional rollercoaster trying to stay with an addict.
i hope this helps you.
xx