Hi mate, I hope you’re okay. I couldn’t not reply to this because Its so close to home.
I guess I fit your criteria, I’m a recovering cocaine addict, I’m 30 also, and I have a 14 month old daughter.
I’ll keep it short as its late but hopefully we can talk some more.
Cocaine addiction is probably one of the worst things that can ever happen to a human being and furthermore its the worst thing that can ever exist in a relationship.
There is so much I could say right now but as I say it’s late so I’ll keep it short.
When you’re addicted to cocaine it’s like you are 2 people.
The 1st being the real you, the person who loves, who cares, who would do anything for the people you love. Often cocaine addicts will be able to hold on to “normal” life for a long time, pay bills, go to work, hide it from their partner to an extent.
Then there’s the 2nd part of you, and this part is trying to grow and take over all the time.
It highjacks your brain, it makes you say and do things that the sober you would never dream of.
I love my (ex) partner more than life itself but somehow I still repeatedly lied to her. I’d lie about money, where I was, what I was doing, anything I had to so I could get on it and the saddest part of it all is that even when I was off my face, I wanted nothing more than to live a honest simple life without the hurt and pain that comes with addiction but I couldn’t stop for years.
I promise you that deep down he loves you. I promise you that his addiction is not in any way something he does to hurt you.
I hope that he genuinely wants to get clean and is ready to commit himself to a life of recovery because the people who are affected most by addiction are the people who are close to an addict.
Please feel free to click on my name and read all my previous posts they may help and ask me anything you want to know and I’ll do my best to help you understand.
Stay strong
Dan x