Hi thank you so much for your reply. Is the support group Alanon? I did enquire about this before but haven’t joined any online meetings yet i may do it as I feel like i really could do with the support now and it will help me navigate some sort of relationship with him. I’m quite good with boundaries he’s not allowed home until he’s clean, although I questioned this yesterday in a fit of madness! I will not lend any money or help in anyway financially, i would never make excuses for he’s behaviour although I have learned to seperate the addict from the person that’s the only way I don’t hold grudges and can continue to speak to him. I do try rescue when he’s relapsing but as you know it doesn’t get you anywhere just banging your head against a brick wall. He can go periods without it it’s been 7 weeks as he was without a job sometimes he can have money and not touch it but when it’s been so long without money it’s to tempting I have asked him before to let us take charge of he’s finances he said no and got very defensive so haven’t brought it up again, i may try again though & test the waters. That’s amazing your partner is in rehab I hope he’s recovery continues to go well, i fully accept relapses are part of the process but everyone he has is so painful as it’s steps back hopefully he pulls himself out of it as he usually cuts us off and is depressed after them. Yes I have realised this he has said he’s worse at he’s mothers house but he was still doing it here when I allowed him back last year for a brief period. He’s hit rock bottom a few times lost jobs not seen the kids but he knows I wouldn’t stop him as he’s a good father and he takes care of them when they stay with him he’s mum is always there and i feel whether he sees them or not he will still use so I wouldn’t use them against him. Thank you, it really helps coming on here as much as I wish none of us were here of course. Hope you’re well x
