Hey.
I have just seen your story. I’m sorry and I hope that you and your children are ok.
This is almost mirror behaviour to my husband. I put up with it for over a decade. He is still a functioning active addict. He was prescribed antidepressants, attended c.a, had a sponsor. Two lots of rehab (which he left) and councelling.He manages 6 to 8 weeks clean, but even our marriage breaking down and having to provide drug tests to see our children is not enough. We moved to another country and within 8 days got cocaine delivered by our furniture removals!!
Please feel free to read my story. I’m sure you will identify a pattern similar.
You have done the best thing. You need to concentrate on you and your children. It’s so hard loving an addict.
If your mental health is suffering, that will impact the children and day to day living.
Leaving them is hard, but its way better than watching the person you love slowly kill themselves, destroy you and your kids lifes.
I read very little recovery stories for cocaine. I see mostly lapse, relapse after relapse. Working with addiction (which I no longer could, my husband made me feel like a shit counselor because I couldn’t help him) cocaine is awful. There is no medication like there is for heroin.
I hope you stay strong, look after you.
Much love x